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Dad Jokes About Animals — 80+ Animal Puns

Animals are nature's gift to dad jokes: they're relatable, endlessly pun-able, and kids already love them. This collection of 80+ dad jokes about animals rounds up the best animal puns — cows, bears, chickens, snakes, fish, elephants and more — all clean, all silly, and all perfect for the whole family.

Dad jokes about animals work everywhere: the zoo (obviously), the pet store, family road trips, classroom mornings, or any moment a kid points at a dog and says "tell me a joke about it." They're also a great icebreaker at parties — everyone has an opinion about animals, and everyone can groan at an animal pun.

Pro tip: save the animal jokes for animal moments. At the zoo? Use the zoo ones. Watching a movie about fish? The fish jokes are ready. Matching the joke to the moment is what turns a groan into a giggle. Bookmark this page for the next family outing.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What do you call a dog with a phone? A cell-phone dog.
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
Why did the spider go to school? To learn web design.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye deer.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity.

Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore. (Yes, twice — it's that good.)
Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
What do you call a pony with a cold? A little horse.
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
Why did the firefly get a ticket? It was caught glowing.
What do you call an elephant that never washes? A smellyphant.

What do you call a grumpy reindeer? A mean deer.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
What do you call a turtle that's a writer? A shell-ebrated author.
What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
What do you call a snake that builds houses? A boa constructor.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? So-fish-ticated.
What do you call a bear with a sore throat? A bear with a hoarse throat.
What do you call a penguin that can sing? A penguine.

What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
What do you call a duck that loves comedy? A funny quacker.
What do you call a cow that can't make milk? An udder failure.
Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashed his car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssside.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
What do you call a dog at the beach? A hot dog.
What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band.
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polly-gone.
What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes? A funny bunny.
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor.

Why did the bee get married? He found his honey.
What do you call a cat that drinks lemonade? A sour-puss.
What do you call a sleeping cat? A cat-nap.
What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block.
Why did the elephant paint its toenails? So it could hide in a cherry tree.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
Why did the frog take the bus? His car was toad.
Why did the chicken go to the doctor? It was feeling fowl.

What do you call a duck that's a doctor? A quack.
What do you call a cat that's a good singer? A purr-former.
What do you call a sheep with a drum set? A ba-a-a-and.
What do you call a squirrel that's always busy? A nut-case.
What do you call a turtle that tells great stories? A shell-ebrity.
What do you call a bear that's a great dancer? A boogie bear.
What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
Why don't we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're very good at it.

What do you call a cow that's a good singer? A moo-sician.
What do you call a fish that's good at acting? A starfish.
What do you call a funny cow? Laughing stock.
What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog.
What do you call a cow that tells jokes? A moo-tivational speaker.
What do you call a musical fish? A tune-a-fish.
What do you call a fish that's always honest? A straight-tuna.
What do you call a penguin that sings? A tune-waddler.

What do you call a turtle that's a good dancer? A shell-shaker.
What do you call a cat that loves to swim? A cat-fish.
What do you call a cow that's a great dancer? A moo-ver.
What do you call a dinosaur that's always late? A dino-slow.
What do you call a dog that can do math? A count-pup.
What do you call a horse with no legs? A stable.
What do you call a cow that's always in a good mood? A-moo-sing.
Why did the elephant bring a suitcase? He was packing his trunk.

What do you call a dog that tells jokes? A pun-pup.
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.
Why did the cat get a promotion? It was purr-fect at its job.
Why did the cow go to space? To see the moooon.
What do you call a dog that's a good singer? A howl-er.
Why did the sheep cross the road? To get to the baa-rber shop.
What do you call a pig that's a good singer? A ham-monious singer.

Why did the dog get a promotion? It was top dog.
Why did the owl get an award? For being a wise guy.
What do you call a kitten that's a good athlete? A purr-athlete.
Why did the horse get a job? To earn hay.
What do you call a fish that sings? A bass.
What do you call a turtle that's a good singer? A slow jammer.
Why did the elephant get a promotion? It never forgot anything.
Why did the little pig go to the casino? He wanted to try his ham luck.

What do you call a happy penguin? A penguin with a belly full of fish.

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